they build you up....watch you fall

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 03:45:42 GMT

2 days.

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 18:27:38 GMT

i haven't made an entry in here in a really long time. oh well.
anyways. the new comeback kid album "wake the dead" is really really really good.
im not sure if i like it as much as "turn it around" but nonetheless it is still amazing. New BTBAM single is AMAAAAZING..shit. i was kind of nervous about it just because sometimes new shit is dissappointing..but no...this is good shit..go listen.
March 17 im going to witchita falls to go see circle takes the square that should be alright. Yes i know they are most likely coming to dallas but still...might as well take a road trip right before spring break. hopefully ill get to go to the comeback kid/withonor/bane show...but if not...i think i'll live. Not alot of good shows coming...the only decent ones in dallas is like...terror and remembering never in april.100 demons is sunday but i dont get to go. I do believe i found an apartment in Arlington to move into after i graduate. Its going to be tight. Ill be livin with my friend bobby and matt and we are going to turn one of the rooms into a dark room so we can develop our own pictures. Its kind of overwhelming to think that Ill be done with high school....but then again its something that ive been looking forward to for a really long time. aight. im out.

did you know that liquid bread really does exsist?

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 02:39:18 GMT

OH EM GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE since when is good charolette hXc...HUH?

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 11:47:57 GMT

hey mr.nannypants, remember what success feels like?

silence distills the bleeding massacres leaking from her mouth...
despite the distant sillohuettes dancing against the sky we raise our
glasses once again to mourn the death of her fake facade...
(YOURE NOT PORCELAIN NOW BABY)
broken shards of glass distributed amongst the hungry...
the devistated children tremble at night when the vultures
lurk outside in the trees...
(OH GOD SAVE US FROM THE DEVESTATION)
buried in the gutters with the necrophiliacs awaiting our return...
manipulating fucks they are reunite with the screaming hookers in the
room nextdoor...
(STOP THE CHANTING THEIR EYES ARE SO ENHANCING)
the ceiling comes tumbling down upon the church...
leaving the choir singing sad sad songs of praise.
amongst the rubble we find the bones of tiny verses carved into the
bibles pages...
(OH GOD SAVE US FROM THE MANIPULATION)
the clock strikes 4 and we draw out our swords...
"DEMOLISH THE CITIES AND BURN THE BRIDGES DOWN"
this is no revolution...
this is no revolution...
condemn them to hell and repent for their sins...
slit the throats of the misconstrued...let them bleed out their misfortunes..
she was found in the boudoir with her blood stained in gold...
"live in class, die in class" she always said...
click.
clock.
times up.

another song i wrote..if you dont understand it...i dont really care...because it means something to me...i just thought i should share it with you guys.

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 03:25:50 GMT

its been 3 months today that i lost her.

i think i lost someone else today.... i never thought i would lose this person merely on the fact that she said she would never leave. she isnt leaving...ive just lost her. we drifted apart somehow which i cant completely comprehend how that happened. we were so close only a month ago. now we only talk at school. we havent had a normal conversation in about a month. in person the last time we had a conversation longer than the 7 minute passing period was halloween. I thought that maybe i was just being pessimistic and that we werent really growing apart, but we did. we are two different people and i dont know how to handle this because i dont want it to be true. And if you are reading this...then im sorry it has come to this. Im going to miss having that friendship that we had. i never really realized how much i needed you until you werent there as much. i never really realised how i felt about you until now...but now its to late.

today is lame.

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 05:35:18 GMT

SOMEONE FUCKING CLAMP MY MOUTH SHUT TO THE POINT NO WORDS CAN BE UTTERED.....please? Obviously my words only cause harm...so i would appreciate it greatly if someone would prohibit me from speaking

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 20:53:22 GMT

dearest zeshan,

why didnt you tell me you were the drummer for the blood brothers? bastard. can i get your autograph or some free sweet merch or some shit like dat? cmon? CMON? why didn you tell me you played da drums dawg?

your fan,

casey

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 12:41:33 GMT

pretty much every aspect of my life is changing. Its not all bad...but its also not all good. New people have came in my life...and i love that. But i feel like im losing some people.oh well..i cant do anything about it..it just has to happen sometimes. werd. so my car got towed the other night..it was cool...not really though. so now i cant go to shows for a while because i have to pay back the money that it cost. yeah anyways i need to get ready for school.

i feel her slipping away but i guess its for the best in the end.......im going to miss her :(

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 14:21:28 GMT

DONT FORGET TO SET YOUR CLOCKS BACK AN HOUR...DUHHHHHHHHH

deathcabtonightdawg

taylor,dont tell me who i can think is beautiful...you suck

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 04:17:59 GMT

so its been a while since updating...werd...uhhhhhhh tonight i hung out with the pretty taylor....fun? yes. she sucks at playing battleship..i sunk two of her ships...i rule..cause im god. uhhhhhhh yeah...she also sucks at not falling off the bed...i pwn at pushing her off the bed. over all...i rule..she sucks =). uh yeah...this week has been cool...i didnt go to school today..i worked instead..and i skipped first and second yesterday. man im gooddddddddddddddddddd.uhhhhh yeah...tomorrow[saturday] i have to take pictures..then i work from 3-8..THEN...then its hang out time with whitney...shes awesome...im excited...we are going to a park...PARKS FUCKING RULE N SHIT...werd..sunday is going to be the best day of the weekend. its going to be filled with ben gibbard and the lovely megan. werd.im excited.DUH. uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm uhhhhhhhh..yeah...i need to start going to school...nahhhhh....aight dugs...im out.

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 14:26:08 GMT

i was couldnt decide whether i was going to go to Unearth or Emery yet..so i went down to gypsy...and they were sold out..which means i went to emery instead...and im glad i did..it was really good. A thorn for every heart put on an AMAZING show..AMAZING...and so did enjoy the fall...emery of course was good...but the crowd got on my nerves..alot of guys thinking they were hot shit cause they could push each other alot...WEAK. And emery's merch sucked...but yeah...so im glad that i went. UMMMM cant go to etid this friday..i have to work..im really mad. Things are going alright i guess. Its just kinda going by me too fast. Nessy started smoking today on the way to school..so i came back home and let her cool off and im waiting right now so i can put more antifreeze in her. Borders tonight..im excited...ihavent been in a while..i miss it.ummmmm yeah.Im still confused on some things and i really wish i could get some clarity.oh well..im out.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 05:28:57 GMT

oh if you only knew :)

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 01:18:20 GMT

B a S i c . I n F o
[Name]casey
[Age]17
[Location]TX
[Sign]TAURUS NIGGA
[Birthday]may 11
[Hair Color]black and some wierd color
[Eye Color]blue
[Hair Style]combover baby...and messy

A r E . Y o U _ ?
[Racist]naw dawg
[Funny]i guess i can be...mainly just stupid
[Depressed]according to somepeople yes...i wouldnt consider myself depressed
[Weird]what a stupid question
[Lazy]sometimes
[Romantic]if i had a reason to be
[Serious]sometimes
[Smart]when it comes to some things...i usually just dont apply myself
[In love]no
[Hyper]sometimes
[Moody]yeah...im bipolar...no lie.
[Religious]eh...no
[Playful]yeah
[Experienced]at what?...making pancakes?.
[Emotional]yeah
[Tolerant]somewhat.

H o W . D o . Y o U . F e E l. A b O u T ?
[Abortion]eh...i mean...its not good..but i mean...whatever they decide
[Gay marriage]go for it
[Love]i guess its good...ive never been in love...i dont think
[War with Iraq]stupid...
[Sex before marriage]pointless...but whatever.
[Online Dating]hahah real pointless
[Reality tv]real world is tha SHIT

R e L a T i O n S h I p Z
[Single or taken]single
[Since when?]uhhhhhhhhhh the summer
[Boyfriend/girlfriend/crush]what?.
[Best Friend]crazy jaymee/ pretty lil megan/beckster and the kaymeister(they are one...i miss them)/ka ka katelyn [haha these arent even their nicknames]
[Four other friends]zeshan/cara/averie/dustin
[Worst Enemy]i dont really have alot...i guess that kid in spanish class...
[Siblings]yeah
Do you get along with your parents?]rarely.

W h O ?
[Is the smartest?]Averie..i love having our talks
[Is the dumbest?]jaymee haha
[Is the funniest?]dustin
[Is the nicest?]kayla
[Is the meanest?]zeshan..assfuck.
[Do you envy?]uhhh no one?
[Would you trade lives with?]no one.
[Would you die for?]everyone listed above...except zeshan...he can die..jus kiddin kid
[Would you kill?]the kid in spanish class

F a V o R i T e Z
[Movie]Garden state/primer/fight club/boiler room/.
[TV show] everwood/onetreehill/degrassi/dave chappell/.
[Five Bands]cant decide
[Five songs] i dunno...i cant decide
[Food]pbandjayyyyyyyyy
[Color] Black, turqoise?,pink
[Word] werd
[Activity]holding hands and taking pictures
[Sport]photography?
[Holiday]halloween?
[Animal]puppies

D o . Y o U ?
[Like to shop] when i actually have money.
[Wear makeup]no.
[Do homework]no...i need to start.
[Make money]yeah
[Want to die]nah
[Have a job]yeah.
[Like to sew]i can knit..does that count?.
[Like to cook]fuck no
[Go in chat rooms]i used to and act like someone else
[Get easily attatched] way too easily
[Get tired of these questions] nah

H a V e . Y o U . E v E r ?
[Been out of America]yes..canada and mexico
[Gone out with someone for over a year]yup
[Danced in the rain]yup
[Made out in the rain]once
[Had anal sex]gross
[Played video games for over 4 hours straight]halo dawg.
[Gone out with somebody for their reputation or looks]looks yes..not rep
[Gone streaking]no
yed your hair] duhhh
[broken a promise]unfortunately
[gotten in a fight]hahah yeah
[gotten suspended] yeah
[cried at a funeral] duh
[cried over a guy/girl]NO WAY...yes.

Y o U r . P a S t
[What do you remember most in your whole life?]watching someone hang themselves
[In the past year?]losing too many people
[Name everyone who has changed your life]megan/jaymee
[Name everyone you ever loved]jaymee...she is my sister...well kinda.
[Who did you lose touch with?]too many people
[Who do you wish you still talked to?]Ian
[Scariest moment?]seeing justin hang himself
[Happiest moment?]uhhhhh...hmmm...not sure...ive had alot
[Most sad time?]this past year
[Did you like your childhood?]yeah it was fine i guess
[Are your real parents still together?]no
[What do you regret?]alot
[If you could change one thing about you past, what would it be?]nothing...its made me who i am..and i kinda like who i am

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 18:54:06 GMT

last night was good..in some ways. Got alot of thinking done [waited till i was sober of course]. But it was good. I talked to someone who could really understand where i was coming from with things..who had been where i was and who is going through some of the same stuff..so it was a productive night. I know what i need to do now...and i really do think it will help. Some people are going to need to be cut out of my life. Its going to suck...but it needs to be done. People change...not always for the good....so im going to need to get rid of them. It sounds harsh..but i really dont care. I just want to be happy..which i dont know what that is...but hopefully i can figure that out soon as well..and im kind of hoping that getting rid of some people will correspond with being happy..WERD..aight dAwgs...im out.

[the donnas are going to be at freakers ball...wow]

"I've been tryin to reach you...but your extension chord wouldnt reach that far"

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 23:33:49 GMT

I figure if i drink enough alchoholic beverages all my problems will go away...i guess we will have to see about that tonight...RED OAK BOUND BABY! Things are good at school...thats all. Things in the outside life arent so great. Things have changed...not for the good. Nothing feels the same anymore...its probably just me...but oh well. W3RD. I'm going to get alot of thinking done tonight..about everything that has been on my mind..im going to see what i can figure out. So yes..i will be in red oak tonight...but tomorrow i will be back...i work from 330 to 800 [weak] so if anyone wants to do something before or after that just give me a call bitches. [4697742448] haha i cant believe i just gave everyone on live journal my number..oh well. ok...peace nigs.

"everytime i run away..its easier to stay at the heart and the heart is you...of everything i do"

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 02:04:53 GMT

i wish i could tell you how i felt.

but i can't...cause i dont know how i feel anymore.

i know what i want.

but i dont know if i want it anymore.

fucking confused.

this sucks...alot

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 03:18:30 GMT

shits fuckin gay and confusing again. Went out to red oak tonight to hang out with some old friends and ended up going up to my old church..where i thought would make me happy. I was way wrong..everything has changed there...its like all they care about is making money and shit..its pathetic. They have like stickers /shirts/hats/backpacks/coffee...its rediculous...and thats not for ALL of the church..thats just for the youth group. werd. so that was pointless...school has been pretty cool lately..today we watched boiler room..that movie is the fuckin shit. Im going to open a small underground casino in my apt. anyone interested can help. yeah..in other news...im confused with what i want again. everything always seems so glamorous and perfect on the outside..then shit gets fucked up..lame. Umm yeah..so im not doing anything this weekend..except for saturday working for like 5 hours..[330-830] so if anyone wants to do anything...tell me. ok bye

"the first day of fall is the last day i kiss the sky"

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 04:22:42 GMT

fucking overwhelmed as shit.

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 05:34:45 GMT

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Kissed your cousin: gross
2. Ran away: no
3. Pictured your crush naked: actually no
4. Skipped school: haha all the time
5. Broken someone's heart: i hope not
6. Been in love: i wish
7. Cried when someone died: yeah.
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: ::le sigh:: is that past tense?...or does present tense count too?
9. Broken a bone: no
10.Done something embarrassing: constantly?
11. Lied: yes
12. Cried in school: yes

WHICH IS BETTER:
13. Coke or Pepsi: neither
14. Sprite or 7UP: neither
15. Girls or Guys: girls
16. Flowers or candy: flowers
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: i would like to think they would be clean shaven.
18. Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes...blondes get on my nerves [not because they are stupid]
19. Bitchy or slutty: neither?
20. Tall or short: tall.
21. Pants or Shorts: pants. [girl]
22. Night or Day: night

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX:
23: What do you notice first: eyes
24. Last person you slow danced with: hmmmmm i think it was cara...i think
25. Worst Question To Ask: wanna smell my penis?

THE LAST TIME:
26. Showered: like 10 mins ago
27. Ran backwards: HAHAHAHAHAH last night actually hahaha oh god [alchoholic beverages]
28. went to the movies: i actually think it was to see garden state with meg and rbi

WHAT IS (your favorite):
29. Your Good Luck Charm: i dont have one
30. Person You Hate Most: whoever created organized religion
31. Best Thing That Has Happened to You this year: lots of things...megan?zeshan?jaymee? [friends in general]
32. Color: black/teal/gray
33. Movie: gardenstate/donnie darko/never ending story
34. Picture on your desktop: best picture in the world
35. Juice: orange pineapple...gross huh?...NOT its amazing
36. Finger: pointer?.
37. Ice Cream: vanilla?
39. Season: autumn....DUHHHHHHHHH
40. Breakfast Food: pffft...only queers eat breakfast.
41. Artist or Band: thats two completely different things....artist would be ansel adams...and band i cant decide on
42: Food: waffles?mmmm casa de waffle....you get that white trash feel

WHO...
43. Makes you laugh the most: jaymee...definately
44. Makes you smile: megan
45. Can Make You Feel Better No Matter What: megan/jaymee/cara
46. Has A Crush On You: no one?
47. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: HA...no?...yes?...guess you wont know?
48. Who Has it easier? Girls or Guys?: girls...they are smarter..they can deal with things faster...guys are stupid and take longer to figure things out.
49. Gives You A Funny Feeling When You See Them: well i always smile when im with megan or jaymee...so i guess that counts?

DO YOU EVER...
50. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: sometimes
51. Save AOL conversations: when they are important to me
53. Wish you were someone else: not really
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: i already wear their clothes..but no
55. Forward secret e-mails: ????

BEST
56. Cologne: very sexy for him ......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
57. Perfume: candies?....no no no...lucky for girls..oh god thats hot shit
58. Kiss: oh man...i dunno
59. Romantic memory: dont really have any good ones.

HAVE YOU
60. Kissed Two People In The Same Day?: no...yes?
61. Fallen for your best friend?: not best friend..
62. Made out with JUST a friend? yes
63. Been rejected: no...im to scared to take risks...so i make sure i wont get turned down
64. Been in love?: no
65. Been in lust?: no
66. Used someone?:once
67. Been used: probably
68. Cheated on someone? nope
69. Been cheated on?: yup
70. Been kissed?: yes
71. Done something you regret?: of course

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...(not counting family)
72. You touched?: carrington
73. You talked to?: megan...for like five seconds
74. You hugged?: hahahahahahaha Nicole..ahahahaha oh god 20 seconds..thats like a record
75. You instant messaged?: uhhhhh zeshwan?
76. that kissed you?: BUPP.... jennifer...damn slut....[alchoholic beverages...obviously]
77. You yelled at?: mother
78. Who Text Messaged You?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dustin?
79. Who broke your heart?: i dunno
80. Who told you they loved you?: kayla

HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU...
81. Color your hair? yes
82. Have tattoos? no
83. Have piercings below the waist? yes..i have my vagina pierced...
84. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? nope
85. Own A Webcam?: no
86. Own a thong? no
87. Ever get off the damn computer? every night?
88. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Ficken Sie die Deutsch hahaha oh man the only thing i know how to say in german
89. Habla espanol? no, no hablo espanol.
90. Quack?: fuck
91. Stolen anything over $50? yup
92. Smoke? have before
93. Schizophrenic? no
94. Obsessive? no
95. Compulsive? no
96. Obsessive Compulsive? no!
97. Panic? all the time
98. Anxiety? yes
99. Depressed? thats why they still make me take these damn pills
100. Suicidal? no

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 01:07:39 GMT

fuck...

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 04:07:25 GMT

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

this quiz is obviously wrong...right?

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 04:37:53 GMT

::le sigh::

dont give up...just open your eyes

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 21:22:53 GMT

today definately sucked...bad. i didnt sleep at all last night like not one minute..so i was real tired. Then there was no teen court which made me real mad. It was just one of those days where people show you how incompitant the human race can be.i wanted to shoot alot of people. i was so happy there for a while...now its just shit again. someone make this day better...this week better...please? fuck emotions. fuck school. fuck stupid people at school. fuck people who find it fun to laugh at other peoples expense. fuck this day. fuck this state. fuck me.

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 06:10:37 GMT

uhhhhhhh so this weekend was fucking AMAZINGGGGGGG...oh god how i loved it. Friday=good day at school + movie marathon with megan. (a knights tale and donnie darko...DAMN BLOCKBUSTER FOR NOT HAVING ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND..wow thats a really long title) ANYWAYS..that was a good night...minus the part where water was spit on my face/ear/hair/jacket/leg. But megan liked donnie darko...which made me happy...cause i was nervous she wasnt going to like it. And i always talk about that movie to people and they end up not likeing it. But she did so its all good.Then today was fun as well...went and got 3 rolls of black and white film and headed down to deep ellum. Met up with the katelyn and had alot of fun. Deep Ellum is a great source for photography..especially with all the homeless people. (the roof of gypsy smells like shit) umm yeah. i learned that im the biggest girl in the world on account of me being to scared to break a beer bottle against a wall..hahah i barely tapped it and still got scared. But yeah..im REALLY excited about getting this film developed..its going to be nice..i can feel it. tomorrow ends the fun on account of me having to work from 700pm-1230 am which isnt long..its just late. OH yes..i was also asked to join the photography dept. at a college in chicago..that was probably the greatest news ever...im really happy right now...like genually happy..its an amazing feeling. ok fun...im gonna go to bed..cause i stay up to late and its not healthy? actually elimidate is on right now so i figure ill go watch that..have fun kiddos.

p.s.tcXc fo life (teen court core)...come tuesday?

" youve let me down...for the last time"

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 15:38:27 GMT

Got some bad news this morning..but its ok cause im too happy to let this get me down. ANYWAYS i think today im gonna go down to deep ellum and take some pics. sounds fun eh? ill post them when i get them developed cool. ummmmm yeah...just thought i should let everyone know what im doing today..bye

"i find it kinda funny and i find it kinda sad"